Author: Tess Hunter
Publish Date: Sp
Review Source: TRSoR
Review Source: TRSoR
From New York Times Bestseller Pepper Winters writing as Tess Hunter, comes a sarcastic, sexy standalone full of men with big 'you know whats', puppies, pigmy pigs, and swoon-worthy moments.
I don't want to touch it.
I really, really don’t.
He's egotistical, crass, and my patient's owner--which makes him totally off limits.
Yep, that's right. He owns the wiener I'm currently working on. A wiener dog--get your dirty mind out of the gutter. I've also worked on his Spoodle, his Cocker-shitzu, and a Cheagle--don't ask. (And no, it's not a sexual position). It doesn't help that he also represents most of my joint-owned veterinary practice's small clientele. We'd only just opened the doors a few months ago, and in he strode with a yelping Taco Terrier. One haughty look at our sparkling new facilities, he'd demanded royal treatment, even though I was currently finger deep up a squalling tom cat. Ever since then, he expects me to serve him.
Any time. All the time.
Him and his revolving zoo of dogs.
One of these days, I'm going to swat him for being such a pompous ass but I can't deny the way he handles his charges makes me want to see past the 'do as I say and don't ask questions' barking exterior.
But then last week...he caught me staring at his um, cough, package.
His bossy commands switched to a cocky smirk.
He gave me permission to do something I promised myself I would never ever do.
I can touch it.
If I want...
This book is SO fun!!!! It’s light and funny, sweet and hopeful and most of all romantic. But not really just sweet romance (there is some of that, of course) but it’s the funny, dirty banter they have that I enjoyed the most!
Ryder and Vesper are so different yet have so much in common. Vesper co-owns pretty much the only vet practice in town. Ryder….well he has a lot of animals and visits often. Between all the dog “jokes” (think where a dirty mind can go when trying to help a weiner dog!) and the innuendoes they both flirt with each other and you are bound to have one hell of a funny and sweet story!
I really loved this book. It’s got pretty much everything. It’s happy, it has action, it’s FUNNY and flirty, it’s HOT and well its…..HOT!!!! It’s a little dirty. Which is pretty much why it got the full 5 feathers. I love my dirty books. It’s not dark or embarrassingly dirty…..it’s just right!!! Just everything about Can’t Touch This is great. The characters are amazing! The writing and story are fantastic. I just really really HOPE Polly & Drew get their own book!!! Please!?!?!?!
Very Highly Recommend!
“Earth to vet Fairfax.” Ryder waved his hand in front of my face.
I jumped, hugging the dog tighter. “What? What happened?”
He bit his lip, doing his best not to smile. “You space-cadeted on me again.” He chuckled. “You were looking at my mouth. You weren’t thinking of doing bad things to me again, were you? Because if you were…I can totally help with that.”
Yes, please. It would be so easy to nod and let whatever magic between us ignite. But we were at my work. I was supposed to be a mature, composed female. Be that female! My cheeks heated as I dropped my gaze to the Chinese Crested in my arms. “I wasn’t thinking bad things. Not in a bajillion years.”
“Bajillion, huh?” He raised an eyebrow. “Never heard of that amount of time.” He came closer, bringing sex and sparks and seduction. “Can I perhaps trade your bajillion and put my own time stamp on it?”
I froze as his hand cupped my cheek. My face leaned into him. Damn face.
Damn hand. Damn chemistry. “I suppose…” I breathed as his chest strained beneath his grey t-shirt. He was the one seducing me, yet he was just as affected. “What did you have in mind?”
His eyes lingered on my lips. “Do something for me and I’ll kiss you right here, right now.”
My mental capacity crashed. “Do what?”
His eyes burned hot into mine. “It’s a huge, huge favour.”
The way he said huge made me think he’d swapped the word favour for cock. I burned up as his thumb grazed my cheekbone.
He murmured, “If you did it, I’d do whatever you want.”
What, you’d chase me? Pretend to be a policeman and handcuff me? Reach inside my head and be prepared to play with me? My tummy clenched. “What are you proposing I do?” I held the squirming dog as she tried to wriggle into my scrubs, looking for warmth. Not that I could blame her—it was fairly chilly in here with the air conditioning.
“You’d do it?” His eyes turned luminous. “For me?”
“Yes.” Way to go, Ves. Don’t sound desperate or anything.
He smiled. “You’re such a kind, sweet…” His head tilted, bringing his mouth close to mine. His scent of outdoors and timber shot up my nose as he brought me forward, our lips only inches apart. “…amazing woman. I’m so fucking hard for you right now, Vesper.”
Dangnamit, everything inside me tightened, melted, swapped ownership and put its hands in the air to flay like idiots over how much I liked this guy.
How much I wanted this guy.
“Tell me what you want me to do, Ryder.” I licked my lips, almost hyperventilating with how much I needed him to kiss me.
“Christ, I love it when you say my name.” His thumb ran over my bottom lip, pulling it down as he pressed the lightest kiss there. “Vesper, I wouldn’t just ask this of any other woman. I’m asking you because you’re so damn incredible.”
Ask me what? You want me naked and on all fours? Got it, give me three seconds. You want me to dress up in a nurse’s uniform and look after you instead of the dogs you bring in? Hell yes, get on my table and drop ‘em.
I swallowed again. “Spit it out. I need to know.” My heart needed to know before it galloped from my chest and left me a corpse.
“Okay, here it goes. Can you, Vesper Fairfax…knit?”
Eh…What?! I blinked, wrenching my face from his hold. “What did you just say?”
He bit his lip, shaking with mirth. “I asked how skilful you are with two needles and some wool.”
“Why? Do you have some crazy fetish you’re trying to admit to?”
“I have fetishes, but needles aren’t included.” He couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore. “Man, you should see your face.”
You should see what you did to my knickers, you jerk.
Tess Hunter is the superhero pen name of a New York Times, Wall Street Journal, & USA Today Bestseller who gave up swallowing her one-liners and decided to write them instead.
Her libido scares even her and having an outlet to be snarky, stupid, and sexy while cloaked by incognito is the perfect recipe for naughtiness online and in-between the romance pages.